Giving Thanks

I can’t be bothered to write a long article here, which unfortunately goes for most of the holiday season, but let us all give thanks for the wonderful things we have in life for these are the reasons for us all to keep on living. Happy turkey day everyone.

Cheers,
Steve

PS this is going to be a very hectic holiday season for me, between the wedding and a two week training I have to go to for work that is going to leave me incommunicado for two weeks (much to the added stress of my lovely bride-to-be). In fact this very post was scheduled prior to me leaving for that training. I should be back sometime after the twelfth of December where I’ll publish my “Christmas break” message, then shortly after that a wedding announcement (possibly with photo for you curious ones) heralds yet another break (for my honeymoon) and then finally I’ll be getting back in the swing of things sometime in January.

Quote of the Post:

“If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.”
Thorin OakenShield, King Under the Mountain, In The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien

Blood Feuds: The Epic Retardation Continues

AKA Dumbfucks: Murder Edition

Nothing entertains me quite like stupid people going at each other for what appears to be no sensible reason at all. It becomes even more entertaining if there was a reason but no one can remember what the fuck it was.
Those two sentances sum up why so many people watch Dr. Phil or Judge Judy or all that other trash that’s under the label “day time TV”. It’s like tuning in to a special olympics version of the roman gladitorial games. Kind of sad but funny as hell at the same time.

However transsexual rednecks who want to get their gay husband to pay child support for their child by another obviously not gay, man are not what this article is about. Nor is about obese black women who just want to know who their baby daddy is (maybe not fucking every dude on the block for coke money would simplify that problem…) No this article is about actual blood feuds where two families ala the Hatfields and McCoys or the italian mob families start killing the fuck out of each other.

I just started and I can already here people typing back furious comments “wait! wait! that shit doesn’t happen any more! no way!” Alright maybe the mob families don’t do their hits in broad daylight and the hillbillies have satellite TV to keep themselves entertained instead of unloading at each other but blood feuds continue. Fervently.

Hell the nation (err… warzone) of Somalia is organized around that. The basic family unit is the “Dyia” paying group. Dyia is blood money. Somali society is broken in two 8 massive clans and 80 trillion subclans. All the massive clans hate each other, and all the subclans that make up each clan hate 98% of all the other subclans in their clan too. Oh and did I forget to mention that individual families within the fucking subclans usually end up killing each other over some shit too?  Now they even have fucking pirate feuds! Goddamn! Holy shit! Fuck you can’t say much more then that shit… no wonder it took the goddamn marines to provide famine relief to that fucked up little nation.

On to a slightly more eurocentric local the former yugoslavia is filled with blood feuds based on family, religion and of course the ever popular “we’ll we’ve always hated those guys”.

Jumping over to south america the drug lords saw the Godfather one to many times and decided to start dispensing as much mob style justice as they could dish out. Primarily against each other for various slights real and imagined during business transactions.

This goes on and fucking on all over the goddamn world hell the asians have been having feuds as nations, clans, and individual families for millenniums. There’s family tensions from before china was goddamn china!

Sometimes I really have to wonder how we evolved to the point that we did…

Quote of the Post:

My blood cries out for the vengeance of my people’s blood, which can only be repaid with at least twice as much blood! Or maybe three times as much blood! Like if you went to hell, and it was full of blood, and that blood was on fire, and it was raining blood, then maybe that would be enough blood! Eh… but probably not.”
-Bloodmage-War3

The Last of the Great Romantics

So I’ve been getting some email recently (not sure I can call it fanmail, it’s more “my god how do you function socially mail?”) and a few of them have asked something along the lines of “If your such a cynic and asshole, what’s your dating life like? do you believe in true love?” and so on. So I’m going to come right out and talk about it instead of putting out individual emails to my curious correspondents. I doubt the rest of you give a fuck but I’m going to try to make this as entertaining as possible for every one else so bear with me.

To start I am an utter romantic. Yeah I know that and being an uber-cynic at the same time is a serious contradiction. I don’t care. I fully and utterly believe that that special someone is out there and am constantly looking for her. (finally found her too, see the addendum below) I write poetry, send roses, jewelry and other little, more personal gifts. I have a very set pattern with women I guess. I go out on a bunch of dates (or in the most recent example just set a bunch) and on one date with one girl everything just… falls in to place. The last time this happened I almost married the girl (check the archives, there’s one or two posts on the fall through of that) and this time I actually am marrying her. I love taking girls out to places. Dinner and a movie? sure but I hate movie theaters because the whole point of going to on a date is to converse and get to know the other person. Movie theaters are places where your not supposed to freakin talk. So much for getting to know that girl.
I also like doing new things, things she does alot or things neither of us have done. For example I learned how to wake board with a previous girlfriend and I took that same girlfriend rock climbing. We also found we both had a taste for lounging around on secluded beaches so we made regular sojourns out to find some peace and quiet together.

The funny part about all of this is that I’m apparently playing to type. I was born in February, which under western astrology makes me a piceses. Now I have no real belief in anything much less astrology but it does amuse me on occasion. I was wandering the web when I found a thing on love and the star signs. I looked my up and lo and behold “the last of the great romantics”. I don’t know how “great” I am but I’m definitely a lover as well as a fighter and am quite passionate with my partner.

Now all of that said I do maintain a healthy “respect” I think would be the word. Same as people hold respect for something beautiful that can hurt them, like say… a tiger or something like that. I’ve been burned pretty badly before especially with the last big relationship I had. However I’m plowing on just as passionately with the new serious relationship and all signs are green with this girl so my love life’s definitely looking up.

Addendum: things really were green with this girl and we are officially engaged, this should give hope to the lonely masses out there. If there’s someone out there for me, there really is someone for everyone. Just to answer the forthcoming question our wedding is on the 27th of December, and yeah… maybe I’ll post pics. (From the wedding not the honeymoon you sick fucks.)

Hope that answers everyone’s questions. Except the person who asked about my sex life. Go read a penthouse forum or a trashy romance.

Quotes of the Post:

“Love is not what we become, but who we already are.”
-Steven Levine

“You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dream.”
-Dr. Seuss

“Something to remember about weddings, the bride comes down the center isle with fanfare and a procession, the groom sneaks in a side door. Now you tell me who’s day it is.”                                                     – My Father

“LOVE, n.
A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the influences under which he incurred the disorder. This disease, like caries and many other ailments, is prevalent only among civilized races living under artificial conditions; barbarous nations breathing pure air and eating simple food enjoy immunity from its ravages. It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the physician than to the patient.”
-Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictonary
(I don’t exactly agree with the last quote there, but it still makes me laugh)

Morality, Self-defense and the Law

I really dislike morality based stuff. I mean it quite honestly bugs me. Because the way everyone talks about good and evil it’s like we all have the same opinions and beliefs about morality and that it’s all black and white.
Not so in fact I would charge that there isn’t black or white at all merely shades of grey. I mean morality is specific to a person what you think and I think is different merely by the fact that we are different. Religion and Laws (sometimes even Religous Laws) take what most of us agree on being moral and make it a rule that that is good or evil. That’s why laws are different from nation to nation. I mean as a whole we’ve all come to the conclusion that certain things are “bad”. Rape, killing people, stealing other people’s stuff. That type of thing. But look! Even in that three item list there’s a pretty serious sea of grey. The “Killing People” one to get specific. What if the guy attacked me and I killed him? Is that still wrong? What if we’re soldiers on opposing sides during a war? is that still wrong? I mean really how can you tell? How can we make decisions like that. That’s the hell of the matter with the legal system when it comes to trials involving maimins, killings or what not put out by a person defending themselves. People have gone to prison for killing or hurting someone who came at them with a knife or whatever. Certaintly to rob them, possibly to rape them, kill them or kidnap them. For someone reason the victim, fighting back and attacking the agressor is a fucking bad thing.

What

The

Fuck?

I mean jesus christ if a guy comes at with a broken beer bottle and I drop kick his ass and take the bottle away I could end up with assault charges. If that guy comes back later that evening in an alley somewhere with a weapon and I pull my gun or knife and kill him trying to defend myself I will go to trial for murder. Not “might” I will go to trial and I will have to defend protecting my life, family’s lives and our property. Fuckin A there are people out there who think it’s murder if my fiancee or I put a load of 12 gauge buckshot (number 8 by the way, more pellets and no sacrifice in power) in to a bugler’s face. This man just invaded our home with the intent to rob us and possibly harm us, 10 – 1 he’s armed because there’s a good chance your retarded if you don’t have a weapon and your out invading homes and we, homeowners are the bad guys because we pumped some lead in to this son of a bitch.

Fuck

just plain

motherfucking

goddamn

fuck

I can’t write any more, I’m going to the range to unload some 38. Special in to a shillouete target. Any one intrested in staying alive in the face of attack and adversity care to join me?

Quotes of the Post:

“Morals are like cupcakes; everyone likes them, until they are shoved down their throats.”
-?
“Speak softly and carry a big stick”*
-Teddy Roosevelt
*Or at least one with a high caliber

The Supernatural and other Logical Fallacies

First off the whole label “supernatural” is an utter pile of steaming dingo doo. I mean fuck, supernatural would seem to indicate something outside of nature and shit like that correct? So ghosts, vampires, goblins etc and so on. Fucking wrong. Because if any of that shit does exist, then by it’s very nature of existing it’s bloody natural.

Moving on from that minor pet peeve let’s get out the big guns and go to town. Why the fuck is everyone so obsessed with this shit? I mean sure it’s kind of cool if “Blade” happens to be running around kicking massive ass somewhere, and if werewolves are real I’d certainly consider getting a bite done. I mean hell I like my meat raw as it is, so why not go all the way? However as far as any rational human beings can tell, these things don’t exist and if they do exist they’re very busy staying way the fuck away from us. So vampires, werewolves etc are out of the “give a shit” running by process of “who cares?” unless you’ve got a serious fetish for biting or muscular, hairy guys and girls with huge noses their existence or lack there of really isn’t doing anything for any one. The dirty novels featuring paranormal lovin are still going to be written regardless. (On that thought, if vampires or werewolves did exist and they read one of those novels, what would they think? Hell if it was me I’d be semi-offended… and slightly flattered oddly)

Yeah... no comment, just look at this "inhuman passions" wtf?

Next victim, Aliens:
Oh fuck now we’re getting to some serious shit because a whole fuck ton of people have decided to form cul (cut off by a roundhouse kick from the editor) ….religions that are utterly convinced that we are descendants of people from outer space. That and every yahoo in america who owns a cooler, cheap beer and a sucky pick up truck in west of no where appears to have been abducted by a fast moving object with bright lights, the taken back to the mothership and probed… On that note right quick before I start cutting on to the meat of this, I was unaware that Gay Biker Bars counted as “spaceships”, that must have been one hell of a batch of ecstasy.
Now the existence of aliens is slightly a big deal because of all the religious focus on it. Even relatively rational religions have a stake in the aliens questions because many religions claim our asses are alone in the universe. Now there is some argument that aliens do exist and have been here before based on hieroglyphics found in various temples of various cultures on various continents. However when looking at ancient graffiti you have to remember that they also have men and women with animal heads on there so… you tell me how accurate that is a direct interpretation of events. Hell Douglas Adams did the math on all this so I’ll repost it here and you all can decide for yourselves.

“It is known that there are an infinite number of worlds, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them to be in. However, not every one of them is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite number of inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so the average population of all the planets in the Universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows that the population of the whole Universe is also zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely the products of a deranged imagination.”
-Douglas Adams,
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

Descended from aliens? Or just alien to sanity? the world may never know

and finally to finish this party up, everyone’s utter favorite. Ghosts!

We are obsessed with spirits, utterly obsessed. Way more so then with aliens and all that other tosh. We love ghosts. Wether it’s SciFi’s “Ghost Hunters” or psychics and seances so we can communicate with the dearly departed (or not so dearly departed, some seances have been formed in an attempt to contact people such as Hitler, though I confess wanting in on that. It would be fascinating to talk to someone that messed up). Now Ghosts are a sensitive subject across the board because they aren’t from outer space, they aren’t strange freaky creatures. They’re people… or once were any way. It’s also of a specific interest point to all, and I do mean all religion because if ghosts do exist then… well shit that’s the validation and the debunking of several religions right there. Then on top of all that it provides proof of an after life which really fucks over the atheists. Then there’s the matter that the ghost in question is possibly your dead aunt marge. So it all gets very personal, very fast.
My one real thought on this is thus, leave it be. Why leave it you may ask? Because death is the one real guarantee in life. So why honestly mess around and focus on it early. There’s far more important things to do while we’re alive and we should be focusing on that, not on what happens when we finally do pass on.
That said I’m going to go snuggle with my lady and give mom a call.

Quote of the Post:
“I think Bigfoot is blurry, that’s the problem. There’s a large out-of-focus monster roaming the countryside.”
~Mitch Hedberg

The Lost Path of Honor

Chivalry, Bushido, Honor Code, Code of Ethics. It all goes by a variety of names and descriptions and each one has a different idea of what honor is. In fact we all have a concept of what honor is. It is warrior societies that take a code, formalize it and standardize it. The Spartans, the knights of Europe, the Buddhist monks, the samurai, the US Marines, these groups, societies and orders of warriors all keep to a sacred code of ethics and core values that bind them and hold them together.The common threads that bind these codes together are courtesy, integrity and responsibility.
I would almost dare you to find these three things in the common place of modern society. These values are there, but so are the trace amounts of various gases that are billions of years old trapped in arctic ice.
Look around and compare our standard actions as people to the three words I just put down. As far as courtesy goes it’s any thing but common. Hell in certain parts of the country calling a lady “Ma’am” or holding a door can get you slapped, it used to be that not doing something like that would get you a beating from any respectable gentlemen who happened to be near by.
Responsibility is even rarer then courtesy, we’re a nation of children. If our parents aren’t mollycoddling us, then the US Government is. We don’t hold any one to any real standard any more. Hell in some schools kids can retake tests and don’t even have letter grades any more. We make excuses for everything and own up to nothing.
Then there’s integrity which is the rarest of the three. Telling the truth, holding yourself high. These are things that are… distasteful to us on the large scale.
My friends what we have lost as a society is a sense of honor, a sense of pride. It’s all about us and we just don’t give a damn about the other guy.

Quote of the Post:
HONORABLE, adj.
Afflicted with an impediment in one’s reach. In legislative bodies it is customary to mention all members as honorable; as, “the honorable gentleman is a scurvy cur.”
-Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictonary

Veteran’s Day Message

On November 11th, we stand forth in silent vigil and remember the brave. We remember the millions of men and women who have stood forth in defense of family and country, hearth and home. Have looked in to a world filled with darkness and had the audacity to spit in its face.

We remember the farmers and stockmen who filled the ranks of poorly equipped and hastily trained volunteer regiments, who on pure heart and courage secured this nation’s freedom against the mightiest army of the age.
We remember the men who, led by a young marine lieutenant raised the American flag for the first time over a fortress of the old world at “the shores of Tripoli”.
We remember brave men on both sides when our country and our families split and brother killed brother in the southern war of independence, commonly referred to as the “civil” war.
We remember our doughboys in the foxholes and hell that was Europe during the first world war, the brave aviators who filled the skies over head and the sailors and submarines who filled the seas.

We remember.

We remember the “greatest generation” who died on the beaches of Normandy and on god forsaken spits of rock across the pacific.
We remember the frozen GIs fighting their way through the hell of the Korean peninsula desperately pushing the North Korean and Chinese forces back across the 38th Parallel,
We remember the cast out and down trodden brave fighting, dying and living with only each other to count on in the green hell of Vietnam as our nation at large abandoned them to their fate.
We remember the fallen and the glorious who have been lost in this long war against terrorism, which started not on September 11th, 2001 but on a sunny October morning in Beirut when terrorists attacked a marine barracks killing over 200 US military personnel
We remember the 3000 innocent lives lost to those same proponents of terror on the 11th of September.

We remember our fallen and give them due honor and glory.

This is the true story of the United States of America, it was written in freezing plains, miserable foxholes, steaming jungles and in urban decay. It was written with courage, blood and gunpowder. It’s being written even now in the cities of Iraq and the mountains of Afghanistan, written in sand and diesel fuel. Written in explosives and jet fuel, but forever written in the blood of the fallen.

On the 4th of July we celebrate the birth of our nation, but on the 11th of November we remember our fallen and honor our dead. So take a moment and give thanks to whatever deity you hold dear to your heart for those brave men  and women lost and still with us as we speak that were and are willing to give this nation their lives that we might sleep in peace.

Happy Veteran’s Day

This was written by a good friend of mine who also happens to be a United States Marine, chances are you’ll see his work on the site again, I got this in an email this morning from him and decided that is required reposting if not enshrining. He included the below music file which I have as a youtube link. Happy veteran’s day folks. oh and yes this means no update tomorrow, see you friday.

The State of Things

Relating to me any way…

I do get questions to me email account not just about “hey can you review this?” “what do you think about this?” but actual questions about my life and who I am etc.

My life is going good right now, I just got a promotion at work, my girlfriend and I are discussing making things a bit more “permanent” and I’m surrounded by good friends and family.

I’m not exactly excited about the way the election went this month but in the end I can’t do anything about it so I’m not going to fret about it.
Site wise things carry on pretty much as usual though I added a contact page instead of just hoping y’all could dig your way through to my actual email buried at the bottom of a post from august I think so bam, contact page, drop me a line and I’ll get back to you. Hell hit me up on YIM for all I care. I’m actual quite sociable and will definitely say hi.

I do have to announce that I’m going to be incommunicado for about two weeks in December and I’m going to take the week of Christmas off as well so there will only be three to four posts in December not counting my seasons greetings post which will be put up when I retire to hibernate for a week. However in January things will be back to business as usual if not slightly more productive because the moon bat… err messianic government will be stepping in to power and hopefully giving me many things to slowly develop ulcers about.

I’m also going to take this moment to beg you all to send me quotes that you haven’t seen appear on this site. They can be related to whatever the hell just send them along. My quote sheet is large and varied but many, many articles and more quotes later things will be looking sparse after a few more months of active posting. So please contribute to our new charity arm “Quotes for Fullauto” I’m not sure how exactly because no currency changes hands but I’m assured that your contribution is tax deductible.

Quote of the Post:

“If you’re going to do something wrong, do it big, because the punishment is the same either way.” -Jayne Mansfield

Hanging, Shooting, Flogging and other reasonable punishments

I honestly don’t understand what the fuss about a hanging is, sure it’s sucky but if your going to be executed why give a fuck? One of the common arguments I hear from leftists and people who appose the death penalty is that killing a scumbag who needs to be killed costs alot of money. This is not so, we make it cost alot of money. Gassing and lethal injection are extremely expensive and are notorious for not being as effective as claimed. Choking on gas, inmates being able to feel the effects of lethal injection through the sedative. Fuck if that trash isn’t going work let’s get some fucking decent caliber rifles and blow their heads off. Or if we want to go green, hang the bastards! Rope’s a reusable resource ladies and gentlemen, cause you can always tie another noose. Then there’s the nonlethal stuff, caning, flogging, spanking kids, all that wonderful shit where you inflict pain and get discipline as a result. The current system of counseling and care doesn’t really work. However you give someone five lashes across their back, I will personally bet you that the next time they go to do something criminal or stupid, those scars on their back will start throbbing and they’ll stop, think and say “fuck, better not do that again, that shit hurts”. Prison is quite honestly the same as making someone sit in the corner, yes it sucks, yes it’s boring but did any of us who got put in the corner ever really learn shit from it? I didn’t. I sure as hell learned fast when the lesson came on my father’s hand as he paddled my sorry tail. Pain teaches ladies and gentlemen. It forces you to own up and reminds you of why doing something is stupid, it’s painful to learn, but isn’t it better to learn then just stay stupid?

Quote of the Post:

Punishment is now unfashionable… because it creates moral distinctions among men, which, to the democratic mind, are odious. We prefer a meaningless collective guilt to a meaningful individual responsibility.
-Thomas Szasz

In Space No One Can Hear You Scream: A Dead Space Review

This is quite possibly one of the best games I have ever played. I loved every second of it. Seriously I don’t even know how to explain the fantasticness of it. Fuck it all I’m going to give it  shot.
Dead Space is a new survival horror game from some hitherto unheard of section of EA. A section that has insane amounts of creativity and talent.
The graphics and story line behind the game are just plain awesome. 12-14 hours or so of game play and every second is just plain jaw dropping to look at and even better to play. The traditional heads up display has been moved in game with every aspect of game play controlled by Isaac’s (the main character) RIG. As such there’s no pause in game play when you go seaching for an item or check how much ammo you have which when added to the mounting paranoia your getting about being attacked by horrendous creatures called “Necromorphs” gives you an extremely dramatic sense of urgency and on more then one occasion I found myself getting rushed from a dark corner while I was checking a map or getting a health pack from inventory.
The musical score was disturbing and timed well with the activity around you or the task at hand. Ammo was plentiful if you were on easy, though it always seemed to go short at inopportune moments. Weapons choices were wide and varied and going through the game with just the starting weapon, a wonderful industrial tool called a “plasma cutter” is definitely do able. My friend and I were playing through the game together and we used the Plasma Cutter, Plasma Rifle (the only gun in the game) and the Flamethrower through out. Graphics wise all the weapons are interesting and unique and the flame effects on the flamethrower are down right pretty. Weapons selection is more up to you based on play style and enemies only drop ammo related to the weapons your carrying. As with all survival horror games your capacity to carry things is limited but as you upgrade your suit this capacity increases. The levels are creative and challenging and end in some epic boss fights. Speaking of level design, the over all environment the starship Ishimura is just plain amazing looking. The primary inspiration was gothic cathedrals according to the art book and the Ishimura certainly manages to live up to the basics while still conveying a functional high tech look.

Criticism wise I’d say it’s not that scary, but then I’m alot older then when I first started playing horror games so it’s a bit of a different ball park. Controls can get annoying in certain areas but are for the most part fairly intuitive. Melee combat sticks a little bit and is fairly ineffective. The game definitely focuses on limb removal or complete enemy destruction with a normal weapon, followed up by a quick curb check if required.

Over all, five for five and two severed thumbs up

Trailers: (2nd one is my personal favorite